[FREE VIDEO] The Art of Difficult Conversations: How Leaders Can Master Tough Talks


The Art of Difficult Conversations: How Leaders Can Master Tough Talks

Presented by Unity & Company

In today’s workplace, the ability to navigate tough conversations is no longer optional—it’s essential. And yet, the vast majority of leaders avoid them. According to Crucial Learning, 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations at work, often for months or even years, leading to misalignment, eroded trust, and diminished performance.

In this powerful and practical session, Unity & Company Founder and CEO Scott Arrieta reframed difficult conversations not as check-the-box tasks, but as key leadership practices that shape culture, trust, and team performance.

Key Topics Covered:

The High Cost of Avoidance

  • Avoided conversations lead to resentment, disengagement, and reduced psychological safety.

  • As Susan Scott wrote in Fierce Conversations: “We avoid difficult conversations not because we lack the skill, but because we fear the outcome.”

Why These Conversations Are So Hard

  • Difficult conversations don’t just trigger discomfort—they activate our nervous system's survival responses (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn).

  • Quoting Bessel van der Kolk: “The body keeps the score.”

Trauma-Informed Leadership

  • Leaders must understand the emotional and somatic experiences people carry into work.

  • “Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside of you.” – Dr. Gabor Maté

Somatic Awareness

  • You can’t communicate what you don’t embody.

  • A dysregulated nervous system can undermine even the best messaging.

  • Leaders must self-regulate before they communicate.

A Practical Framework: The Art of Conversation

Participants learned a six-phase, trauma-informed model for leading through tension and discomfort:

  1. Opening – Set the tone and clarify intent

  2. Curiosity – Spend 80% of your time here

  3. Recommendation – Offer grounded, co-created paths forward

  4. Agreement – Confirm alignment and next steps

  5. Close – End with intention and care

  6. Follow-Up – The most overlooked step that reinforces trust and accountability

This framework isn’t a script. It’s a practice of presence—one that requires leaders to be regulated, curious, and clear.

Key Takeaways:

  • Trauma-informed leadership isn’t about being soft. It’s about creating safety while speaking truth.

  • Difficult conversations aren’t communication problems—they’re regulation problems.

  • Leaders who embrace this practice build cultures where truth can be told and people can thrive.

As Scott shared in closing:

“What breaks trust isn’t disagreement. It’s disconnection. And what rebuilds it is the willingness to go there—especially when it’s uncomfortable.”

Recommended Resources:

  • The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk

  • The Myth of Normal – Dr. Gabor Maté

  • Fierce Conversations – Susan Scott

  • The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

  • Radical Candor – Kim Scott

Want a one-page summary of the model? Contact us at info@unityandcompany.com
Interested in bringing this work to your team? Contact us at info@unityandcompany.com


Scott Arrieta